I was on Annabel's bed, waiting for her to fall asleep. While waiting, I reflected on the day. . . .
Did not go to church today because Sis Jean was not feeling well and Carissa had a fever last night. Had to stay home to look after them. I reflected on my feeling for today. I wanted very much to be in church, to be involve in ministry. There was a tension for me to stay and to go.
I never really had this tension before. Thinking back, I was really involved in ministry during my teenage years. My entire life was given to the ministry. Back then I was a Sunday School teacher. I would spend the entire weekend with my student. During the week I would talk to them over the phone or hang out with them. I don't worry about going home late. There was "freedom" in serving God.
Now that I have a family of my own, it is different. Many a times I am caught in between ministry and family. The apostle said it right, it is better for one to remain single to serve than one who has a family. Because the one who is single do not have the entanglements of having a family (even though they have different sets of problems).
It is easy for me to leave the house with the reason of serving God. I mean, its God's will we are talking here. He has called me into the ministry. It is a CALLING! Jean should understand. But I was was reminded about Paul's instruction to Timonty that a leader needs to care for the family before he is consider suitable of caring for God's family. I will be a laughing stock if the whole youth group would follow me but my family were to forsake me. Is that my ministry? Is that my calling?
A pastor's calling is never easy. The demands on pastors are high. On top of that, they are well aware of divine responsibilities of their calling. It is difficult. What is the solution? Balance! Pastors need to work very hard on balancing between ministry and family. Some say that family is ministry. I agree in part. I say that ministry is part of family. Family is more than ministry. It is FAMILY!
This year's theme is Service. I'm once again reminded that serving God is spiritual. But serving my family is just as spiritual. In fact, I believe that serving my family is an expression of serving God. I'm going to plan my family in my calendar of activity. I will make sure that they get an equal share of me from my ministry as they release me for ministry. How about you? Have you been spending time with your family? Taking time to serve them? Did you do anything this week that make one of your family members happy? - Feel free to comment
3 comments:
Hi Pron! I agree with you. in fact in 1 Tim 3:13-14 (NLT) it says "12A deacon must be faithful to his wife, and he must manage his children and household well. 13Those who do well as deacons will be rewarded with respect from others and will have increased confidence in their faith in Christ Jesus". This means that people actually look at the manner in which you bring up ur children and manage your family and will award u with respect if they see that what u do is good. Hence, it is important that to "qualify" as a deacon, to manage your family well. This also means loving your wife and your children (Eph 5:25-33). Sometimes i myself am torn as to whether to serve in ministry 1st or to put my family 1st and it seems like i'm spending alot of time in church and neglecting my family (Mon-Fri in school, Sat-Sun in church and some evenings in church too) but yet it's so difficult to not be able to serve cos of committments, "you are a leader, must set an example", etc etc. but just to encourage u to press on with ur studies, ministry and family. there will always be decisions to make but at the end of the day whether we can look back on these decisions and say whether they were pleasing to God, cos nomatter what He's still in control.
sorry for the long post heh...
I, too, am very torn about this, on serving my family and/or my church. My wife and I are both full-time professionals, and pay for daycare services to watch our two young children while we're at work. My wife feels stretched beyond reason, and her strength seems gone. As a husband and father, I am, and appear to be, a Superman, doing as much as I can for my wife and children. This also means the church views me as a potential leader... My pastor (married with 3 young children) understands my situation, yet he is compelled to ask if I am willing to serve. Two years ago I accepted the offer of a leadership seminar, only to have my wife scold me into turning it down. Lately I have been serving as a children's Sunday School teacher.
Last night, my pastor called to say the church nominating committee would like me to serve on the Governing Board.
I asked my pastor to give me a few days to pray over this, but my wife looked at me to say, "Why aren't you just saying no, immediately? "
I know I need to serve my family first. I also know my personal walk with Him has not been very good. I am, a fallen Christian. I view my pastor's and church's calling to serve as God's way of keeping me close to Him, despite my sins and failures.
Saying no to the church, to my pastor, breaks my heart, because I have served before in other churches and I feel it truly is a calling.
I guess I need to say No to my pastor. I can tell him I'm just too busy. But how do I do communicate my desire to serve God and His church, without making my wife look bad? Deep in my heart I know it isn't true, but how do I keep from feeling my wife is holding me back from serving God?
By the time you come across this, I will have most likely declined the offer to serve, unless God intervenes and convinces my wife that serving on the church board is a GOOD thing for our family. :(
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